About Low Self-Esteem
your self-esteem is low, you are your own harshest critic.
You feel unworthy and incompetent. You’re blind
to your good points. You are haunted by your past mistakes
and the possibility of making future errors. You can’t
handle criticism. You’re reluctant to ask for
what you want from others.
self-esteem takes an enormous toll on the quality of
your life. Judging and rejecting yourself is so painful
that you avoid anything that might aggravate that pain.
You take fewer social, academic, or career risks. You
find it more difficult to meet people, interview for
a job, or strive for success in the face of possible
are two primary sources for low self-esteem:
How you were reared up to age four or five
Your own thoughts and images since then
There’s nothing you can do that will give you
different parents and change the way you were reared.
But there’s a lot you can do about the current
thoughts and images that keep you locked into low self-esteem.
you’re thinking that it’s impossible to
change your negative thoughts, you’re almost right.
It’s very difficult to change years of negative
self-talk, however, with determination, visualization
and hypnosis, it can be done. Over the years your negative
self-appraisals take on a life of their own. They become
a carping voice inside your head that I call the “pathological
critic.” Your pathological critic is right there,
always at attention and ready to tell you…. It
predicts failure from the beginning. It ignores your
strong points and harps on your weaknesses. It never
misses the slightest mistake or imperfection, slyly
whispering in your ear, “Stupid…lame…what
a jerk…why can’t you get it right?”
critic blames you for everything and compares you unfavorably
to everybody. It sets up perfectionistic, impossible
standards and castigates you for failing to measure
up. It reads your friends’ minds and convinces
you that they are bored, turned off, disappointed, or
disgusted by you. The critic exaggerates your weaknesses
by insisting that you “always screw up a relationship,”
“never finish anything on time,” or “always
saying the wrong thing.” The pathological critic
uses your powers of visualization against you by showing
highly edited home movies of your past mistakes and
embarrassments. It projects a slide show of future disasters
that obscures any vision of yourself as good or worthy
in the present.
can help you overcome this negative self talk by improving
your self-image and reframing the negative impute. Through
the use of hypnosis, you will be able to identify the
saboteur and release it permanently. This will allow
you to reprogram your beliefs and goals in a more productive
useful way, thus increasing your self-confidence.
your Self Esteem in Twelve Steps
Stop comparing yourself with other people! There will
always be people who have more than you do and some
who have less. If you play the comparison game, you'll
run into too many "opponents" you can't defeat.
Do not put yourself down! You can't develop high self-esteem
if you repeat negative phrases about yourself and your
abilities. Avoid self-deprecating comments.
Accept all compliments with "thank you!" When
you reject a compliment, the message you give yourself
is that you are not worthy of praise. Respond to all
compliments with a simple "Thank You."
Use affirmations to enhance your self-esteem! Make it
a point to look in the mirror often and say a positive
statement about your self. Whenever you say the affirmation,
allow yourself to experience positive feelings about
Take advantage of workshops, books and cassette tape
programs on self-esteem! Whatever material you allow
to dominate your mind will eventually take root and
affect your behavior.
Associate with positive, supportive people! When negative
people who constantly put you and your ideas down surround
you, it lowers your self-esteem. On the other hand,
when you are accepted and encouraged, you feel better
about yourself in the best possible environment to raise
Make a list of your past successes! This doesn't necessarily
have to consist of monumental accomplishments. Read
this list often. While reviewing it, close your eyes
and recreate the feelings of satisfaction you experienced
when you first attained each success.
Make a list of your positive qualities! Are you honest?
Unselfish? Helpful? Creative? Be generous with yourself
and write down at least 20 positive qualities. Now magnify
these qualities. Start focusing on your positive traits
and you'll experience success after success!
Start giving more of yourself! When you do things for
others, you are making a positive contribution and you
begin to feel more valuable, which, in turn, lifts your
spirits and raises your own self-esteem.
Get involved in work and activities you love! It's hard
to feel good about yourself when spending days in work
you despise. Even if you can't explore alternative career
options now, you can still devote leisure time to hobbies
and activities, which you find stimulating and enjoyable.
Be true to yourself! Live your own life-not the life
others have decided is best for you. If you're making
decisions based on getting approval from friends and
relatives, you aren't being true to yourself.
Take action! You won't develop high self-esteem if you
sit on the sidelines and back away from challenges.
When you take action-regardless of the ensuing result-you
will feel better about yourself.